Positive Anger Management




Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.Psalm 37:8


As we’ve seen, anger is an inevitable part of any relationship, including marriage. We’ve talked about some of the reasons behind it, but today I’d like to focus on the practical. Here are six suggestions on how to handle your anger toward your spouse.


1. Admit to yourself, “It’s okay to feel anger.”


2. Remind yourself, “It’s not okay to lash out at my spouse or to withdraw in silence.”


3. Pray that God will give you wisdom on how to handle your anger.


4. Seek an explanation before passing judgment. You might say, “Honey, something is bothering me, but I might be misunderstanding the situation. Can I ask you a question?”


5. Seek a resolution; don’t seek to win the argument. If you win, your spouse loses. You don’t want to be married to a loser, do you? The right question is, “How can we solve this problem?”


6. Affirm your love for your spouse. “I love you and I don’t want anything to stand between us,” might be an appropriate statement.


As the psalmist reminds us, losing our temper only leads to harm. By contrast, these six steps pave the way for a good resolution. Positive anger management may well save your marriage.


We place things in deep freezes in order to keep it fresh, for later use. If you go into a fit of silence (freeze-it) you give it long-life. Address things now and let it go.

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