When Reason Is Too Reasonable

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.Romans 12:15

Without realizing it, many of us have developed negative communication patterns that are destroying our marriages. Another such pattern is Mr. Owl or Mrs. Calm, Cool, and Collected. This is the “let’s be reasonable” syndrome. These people are more like computers than humans, and they can give you logical answers to everything.

They will calmly explain anything about which you may have a question. They will make the answer sound so reasonable that you will wonder how anyone could have ever thought otherwise. These folks usually think of themselves as being reasonable and intelligent. They pride themselves on not showing emotion, and when someone else shows emotion, they calmly sit until the storm is over and then proceed with their reasoning.

The reality is that this kind of dispassionate reason doesn’t always follow God’s ideal for us. Romans 12:15 encourages us to rejoice with people who are rejoicing and mourn with those who are grieving. In other words, we are to enter into their situation and comfort them by experiencing some of their emotions with them.

The sad thing is that Mr. Owl and Mrs. Calm, Cool, and Collected don’t realize that they have a problem. They wonder why their spouse doesn’t appreciate their superior wisdom. Will someone please knock them off their roost?

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